I didn’t even have a minute to get acclimated to my new surroundings before Mundo started harping on me to start assuming responsibility for all of the projects he’d been mismanaging. The problem was, he couldn’t back it up with any concrete direction.
Technically, it had been years since he’d been the official project manager for everything, but instead of paying an actual, skilled professional to take on the role, the company had skated by using a series of untrained and underpaid coordinador de proyectos, who were expected to “work under supervision.” This was business-speak for Mundo was too cheap to pay for someone to do the job properly and no one knew what the fuck was going on with anything.
I knew this was what I’d be walking into so I wasn’t too stressed, but I also knew I’d have to really grab Doe by the collar and force him to sit with me long enough to give me the information I needed. But now that I knew Gianina was pregnant, it was clear to me exactly why Doe had been so hot to get me out of Miami- he wanted to tell me about all of his personal shit. Work stuff wasn’t even a consideration to him. It was gonna be hard for him to focus on boring shit like making sure I understood what he needed me to do. My only chance at success was to corral him before the work week started and get him to commit to meeting with me on Monday for an extended working session.
Four days after I arrived, on my first Sunday in Panama City, Mundo invited me to dinner. He wanted me to meet Gianina. I needed to talk to him about work. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want to get together with Gianina- they’d been married for six years at that point and I was dying to finally meet her, but I really needed to nail down an onboarding plan.
“I’d love to have dinner with you,” I said. “I’m dying to get to know Gianina. And you and I should spend a few minutes talking shop. The sooner you give me the info I need, the quicker I’ll be able to take everything off your plate. Text me the time and address and I’ll see you then.”
Mundo made a series of grumbling noises then hung up.
I got to La Posta at 9:00pm, per Mundo’s text. He and Gianina arrived at 9:30. I stood up as soon as I saw them approaching.
Gianina was a striking woman- long, dark hair streaked with natural highlights, wide, full-lipped mouth, high cheekbones and perfectly arched brows. She wore a flowing, strapless maxi dress and flat sandals- her gigantic engagement ring and matching diamond-encrusted wedding band were the only jewelry on display. As much as I loved my brother, it was clear to me that this woman was out of Olmando’s league in every single way.
I gave her a big hug, as if we’d known each other for years, then reached out and dapped Mundo up, Haitian style- fist bump followed by brief tap over the heart.
Mundo jumped into his default “expansive host” mode the second he sat down.
“Pierre- at long last, I present to you my beautiful wife, Gianina. Gianina- I present to you my oldest, dearest friend, Pierre.”
Gianina and I looked at each other, shook our heads and decided to cheese it up for him.
I reached over, picked her hand up and kissed the top. “Enchanté,” I murmured.
She smiled and said, “Es un placer conocerlo.”
Simultaneously, the two of us let slip a snarky, “this fucking guy” type of laugh. Gianina and I were gonna get along just fine.
The first part of the dinner was spent on general social pleasantries- my future niece or nephew, Doe and Gianina’s house hunting adventure, my new relationship, et cetera. But right after the waiter took our dessert order, I grabbed the opportunity to bring Mundo’s attention to our upcoming work week.
“I hope you don’t mind, Gianina,” I began, “but I need about ten minutes of Olmando’s time to discuss some office-related topics. I know it’s boring, but I want to walk into my first day as properly prepared as possible.” I knew that Doe would catch onto the dry, alliterative phrase and realize I was being dead-ass serious. Then I pulled out a small notebook and pen, to show him I was really not playing around.
Doe looked annoyed, but said nothing.
“So, Olmando,” I said. “I do not in any way want to kill the vibe, but I do want two things from you here.”
“Go, ahead, Cabrón.” The fact that he called me Cabrón in front of his wife let me know he was pissed.
“If you could give me the names and locations of the projects you’ll need me to take over I’d feel like I’m walking into tomorrow with enough to go on. And if you could commit to me right now to give me two hours of your time to review these projects, then I’ll know for sure I’m going to be okay.”
Doe didn’t even take a minute to ponder my ask. “I dunno, ‘Brón. I don’t have all those projects at the top of my mind like that.”
Gianina was watching us like she was courtside at Wimbledon.
Unlike my bredda, I took a few seconds before I replied.
“Okay, Mundo. I wanna be clear- I’m not trying to give you a hard time. But if you want me to take over managing projects, I’m going to need a formal hand-off. A list of projects, a list of contacts, timelines, budgets, deliverables-“ and then I stopped myself and changed tack. “But you know all of this. I don’t need to give you a list. Why don’t you get that info together between tonight and tomorrow and let's meet for lunch at your club at two o’clock? We can bring our laptops and go over everything. I’ll take notes, you can give me access to files and then you don’t have to think about any of this ever again until I have the projects closed out.” I made sure to finish on a chipper, positive note.
Gianina said, “That sounds like a great idea, Pierre.” Then she turned to Mundo and said, “The sooner you get Pierre caught up, the sooner you can really jump into house hunting for us.” She turned back to me and said, “I’m stuck at the clínica rural during the work week, so I’m not able to spend a lot of time looking. Anyway, Olmando has a better eye for real estate than I do.”
I smiled, then started in on Mundo again. But I tried to be as gentle as possible.
“Fre’m- why don’t you bring your project coordinator to the club with you? I’m sure he has an idea of what’s going on. At least he can help us build the projects list and start filling in some gaps for me before i reach out to the construction partners. That way it’s not all on you.”
Mundo grumbled assent.
“So, we’re set for two pm tomorrow at the club?” I asked. “And you’ll have a list ready? And you’ll bring the project coordinator with you?”
Mundo nodded.
“Okay, great,” I said, just to close the conversation cleanly. “I’ll let you have a quiet morning in the office, without my hovering. I’ll meet you at the club at two. My driver’s supposed to start tomorrow morning, so I’ll have a ride over there.”
Gianina beamed. I think it felt good for her to realize she wasn’t the only one who’d spent time in the trenches battling against Doe’s inherent sloth and inertia.
At that moment, our desserts showed up and we moved on to other, more neutral, topics.
