CHAPTER ELEVEN
1999- Other Side Of The Game
Although we never actually said anything, everyone in our circle knew the deal.
It’s not like we were sitting on the stoop, feeding each other champagne and strawberries as the world walked by and said, “Awwwwww,” but the progression from spending an occasional evening eating General Tso’s and watching Drunken Master together to sharing a bed almost every single night was a pretty big tell.
The guys seemed to be mostly cool with the shift- not that anyone ever came out and asked anything directly, or said anything in jest. They all had their own situationships to worry about and anyway why give the boss a hard time? No need to address anything as long as the work kept humming along.
And on my end, I tried to keep to the “down white girl” script I’d assigned myself when I first got into town. Part of me really did want to spend every single moment in bed with my man and my drugs, but I knew that was unrealistic. In order for us to survive, if not prosper, the crew needed Mundo to stay focused. And that meant I personally needed to stay extra focused, which was not my strong suit. I was, after all, an ADHD riddled mess with a fairly raging narcotics dependency.
The morning I saw he’d left a toothbrush on the edge of my bathroom sink, it hit me like a ton of bricks exactly how deep I was in it all- Bed Stuy, Mundo, getting money, dope. All of it. My addiction. My many addictions.
Deep in my drug addled and dickmatized little heart, I knew things were getting sloppy and at the end of the day, romance was a secondary concern.
How long would a man who didn’t share my demons choose to ride with me?
But I refused to overthink it. Fall was rapidly approaching and I was enjoying my homie lover friend status, perks and pitfalls and all.
