CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR

2004- Jake Fuckin’ Shinman

On the third day of my 5-day fuck-it spree, I decided to go downtown to see if there was anything worth getting into.  Definitely wanted to stop by my favorite Ambien and dope connect and make a purchase.  Maybe I’d add a little blow to the mix. 

 

After that, I’d most likely head down to the East Village and grab a few beers at a nice, comfy dive bar- if I could even find one at this point in the city’s gentrification death spiral.  Basically, see if I could stir up any trouble.  Go wherever the night took me.

 

I was just stepping off the A train at Penn Station when this guy bum rushed me and caught me by the arm.  I slowly looked around and saw polished brown lace-up shoes, a navy suit, white button down with no tie, and a bland white boy face with curly brown hair cut short on the sides.

 

“Eula?”  The Wall Street bro asked.

 

“Eula!  Hey!”

 

“Ohhhh,” I said, recognition finally dawning. “Jake Fuckin’ Shinman.”

 

“Ha ha, stop!” he laughed.  “What are you doing?  Do you work around here?”

 

“No,” I replied.  “I work uptown.  Far uptown.”

 

“Like Harlem?”

 

“No, way past Harlem.”

 

He looked confused, like a land that far away from where we were currently standing could only exist in nightmares.

 

“Anyway,” he began, “what are you doing now?  I’m catching a train back to Manhasset, but I have a little bit of time.  Wanna go grab a drink?”

 

I’d heard he and his obnoxious wife had bought a house in her obnoxious hometown.  My mother liked to keep me up to date on the lives of all of her friends’ successful offspring- especially the ones she knew I couldn’t stand.

 

“Drink?  Eula?”  Jake’s gung-ho voice broke into thoughts.

 

“Sure, I guess so,” I sighed.  “Where to?”

 

“I know this awesome Irish pub on Seventh Avenue.  Supposedly they have the freshest Guinness in the city.  Let’s go, I’m buying!”

 

And with that, I was off to go get drunk with Jake Fuckin’ Shinman. 

 

In Midtown. 

 

During peak commuter hour. 

 

Dear god.  This was not at all where I thought the night would take me.

 

HQ BK

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CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE

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CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE